I went to my first Japanese wedding last weekend. No, it wasn't mine. It was Taka, a guy from the Samurai soccer team who went to High school with Kenichi and everyone else on the team. He was marrying Naoko who is friends with another guy on the team's wife. Taka met Naoko at this other guy and his wife's wedding about 3 years ago. I was very priviledged top be invited. Obviously it was very expensive and kept to close friends and relatives. There were about 50 people total there. Mostly family on both sides and then about 5 other friends and about 10 of us from the soccer team. It was also a great opportunity for me to wear the suit I last wore to Paul and Matt's weddings in a span of one week over 2 years ago.
Japan weddings are like American Weddings minus the religious stuff. That equals fun. There's no temple needed. Of course, some Japanese might have it at a temple, but most just reserve a nice hall or banquet room (like the recepttion of an American wedding). Since there's no minister or preist needed to pronounce them man and wife, they just get right into it. I presume they sign some government documents in the morning before we see them. The day starts off with what felt to me like the reception of an American wedding.
It turns out I read the invitiation wrong, mistaking the kanji for the time the wedding started for the time when we were supposed to arrive (30 minutes difference). So I was late and just made it in time. I found the building, took the elevator up to the 6th floor of this huge, beautiful gallery/banquet building where the wedding was being held. I got out of the elevator and saw Taka and Naoko standing there in fornt of two huge doors ready to open up and go in. I said "sorry I'm late", they said "Good Morning!". I thought later, I should have said good luck. I was quickly rushed in through a side door next to the big doors by some staff helping with seating. As I enter the room, the lights are down and everyone is looking that way expecting to see the new couple, but instead they see me, some foreigner crashing their party. Luckily, Kenichi had saved me a seat, so I didn't look entirely clueless and had a place to sit.
Not 2 minutes pass, and the announcer says something to the extent of, "Introducing the new couple, Taka and Naoko" and some happy music plays. The doors open and they walk through the tables and end up at their table for two at the front of the room. Of course, the couple sits in the front of the room and looks over the crowd (there is no best man or groomsmen or bridesmaids). Seating is opposite than American wedding would probably be. The friends are right in front of them in the front of the room. Immediate family, like parents, are the farthest from them in the back of the room. That surprised me.
We are immediately served appetizer's and drink and the party beings. Keep in mind it was only 12:15 in the afternoon when this started. First, Taka's dad comes around to each table and pours beer for each person and has a brief word with them. I just say congratulations in Japanese and he says Thank You. I have to drink the beer he poured for me. Next the mom is right behind him and repeats the procedure. Then, Naoko's mom, then her dad, etc. Then it turned 12:30 pm in the afternoon. I hadn't really eaten anything yet. After that, I really don't remember anything the rest of the day. Have fun looking at the pictures!!!
Ok, I do remember a little more :) We are served some more food and as we are eating, the announcer goes oevr details from their life including hobbies and things (For instance, Naoko likes Shopping, Taka likes soccer). Next, we are shown a slide show of photos from their lives. After that, we are served the next course, and at the same time, Taka and Naoko get up to cut the cake. They go through the same thing Americans do feeding each other gracefully at first and finally just wiping it all over each other's faces. Next, one of Naoko's good friends, walks her from the table out of the room. I am informed she is changing dresses. Not sure if this is to protect the wedding dress or be more comfortbale for her or to just be fashionable and keep appearing in more dresses. We eat another course, drink more alcohol, and naoko apears in a blue dress.
Next, Taka and Naoko walk around to each table with a sword and pop ballons floating above them. The balloons are filled with smaller balloons, so each time they pop one, a bunch of small ballons fly out. You can see that in the pictures at the end. Kenichi said they usually use a flame on a stick to accomplish this, but for this wedding apperently they went with the sword. They take a picture with the group at each table as they do this. Finally, they do one last huge balloon at the end.
They sit back down and try to get a bite to eat and while they are doing this we are informed their is a special guest. We hear singing and a foreigner appears at the doors singing some American love songs (one of them was a Boys II Men song). He's very good and gets the crowd going making us sing and clap and some start dancing. He picks various women out of the crowd and dances with them. He sings 3 or 4 in total and then wishes them congratulations and disappears.
Next, Taka and Naoko go arond and thank each table and disappear out the large doors. We eat more, and drink more. Then the doors open and Taka is now wearing an Iron Chef costume. He was announced as Iron Chef Italian food and makes deserts. I had a hard time understanding what the hell was going on at this point, but the food was good. And, it seemed to imply that dessert was served.
Lastly, the announcer is talking about something else near Taka and Naoko, but I notice Naoko is looking very nervous and almost crying and totally impervious to the announcer's words. I mentioned it to Kenichi and he says soon she will have to give a speech to Taka's parents (and maybe hers?). Another 10 or 15 minutes of eating and things go by and now it is time for Naoko's speech. The 4 parents line up in front of the doors. Taka and Naoko stand very far from them in the center of the room at a microphone. Taka says something first and is very well spoken and calm. Naoko has her speech on paper and is visibally shook up. She starts and her speaking is so quick and and choppy and nervous. She is trembling and almost crying. That was quite moving (even though I have a hard time understanding the types of polite vocabulary they use in these respectful speeches). Next, they walk over to be directly in front of the the parents. They say some more and then take their sides at their parents sides. You can see this in the photos (link is at the end of this).
After that, we eat a little more and the wedding is over. All in all it was a 2 hour party. But, of course, like many American weddings, after the first reception (which was equivalent to this party), many people will go out to the next place for the after party (or in japanese "2nd time" party). This next party is just for the friends and people who were not invited to the wedding (like Marie and Hiroko and Yutaka, etc). They had reserved a nice small banquet room at a restaurant about a 5 minute walk from the first building. We walk over there in the heat in suits, holding balloons through the crowded sidewalks of Tokyo at 2:30 in the afternoon. The building was nicely air-conditioned, though. We get there around 2:45 and still have an hour and half before that party starts. We arrange things how we need and also practice one more time some dances that will be done for Taka and Naoko. Most of this group had been practicing these dances for the last 5 weekends.
Everyone (about 35?) arrives around 4:15-4:30. At 4:30 we are all sitting at little dinner theater-like/caberet type-tables. Taka and Naoko arrive in the doorway of room (Naoko has changed back into her wedding dress again, minus the veil and the long arm gloves). They are holding a stick with a flame at the end of it. They walk around to a couple people's tables and light candles at them. then, they go to the main table at the front for them and light somewhat larger candles. Next, we get up and self-serve ourselves buffet-style lunch (I just had like a 7 course brunch 2 hours ago!). The all-you-can-drink bar is well attended by everyone.
The first order of business after everyone had sat and started eating was to give a toast. I was selected for that and had been preparing for a couple weeks. I was selected because they thought it would be cool to have the toast in English (and no one else wanted to do it or because I am the oldest?). It went something like this (with purposely simple English to make sure it could be understood by most):
Over a year ago, (pause), Taka, and Kenichi, and Daishi, and I, (pause), went skiiing in Nozawa.
In Nozawa, Taka told us he wants to propose to Naoko.
That night we sang a song: (gregg singing the main chorus, everyone laughing at my horrible, tone-deaf voice) "sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana"
In Nozawa, I learned the meaning of that song.
Today, Taka learned the meaning. He "found is one true flower in the world".
Congratulations!!
Cheers!!
I don't like this kind of speaking, but it went ok.
We eat more, drink more and then the lights go down, the music quiets and some rumblings are heard from the hallway into the room. The first round of dancers appear and come running into the room waering nothing but red speedos. I was prepared for this as I attended the last rehearsal a week before, but watching the rest of the faces of the guests that had no idea was priceless. They run throughout the crowd and finally fall into line at the front of the room. They do about 3 well choreographed and timed dances and end by making a human pyramid which Taka climbs and becomes the final piece on top. Be sure to check the photos. The inspiration behind this whole act with bath suits and the music and dancing was from a famous Japanese movie (comedy) involving a men's high school synchronized swimming team fighting against all odds to win the state championship. A Bad News Bears/Mighty Ducks meet synchronized swimming, if you will. I have seen and it's good fun. It's titled "Waterboys".
After that, each table got to go up and get their picture taken with the Waterboys and Taka and Naoko in a group photos. Check the photos at the end. Some games are played involving teams and random people at the party. Prizes are given out. I won a pair of old-type Japanese underwear. I have yet to try them on. Some other friends play live instruments and sing live. Finally, at the end a second set of choreographed dance routines are displayed by a different group of 5. Then for the second verse, anyone who wants to go up is invited up to dance along.
After 3 hours, we funnel out of the room and say goodbye to Taka and Naoko one more time at the entranceway. From there, we congregate in a very elegant restaurant in the basement of the same building. We get more food and more drink in a cozier atmosphere. We are down to about 20 people now, but Taka and Naoko are still there. We relax for 2 hours sitting on the ground talking around 2 long tables. That goes until maybe 10pm?
After that, it still wasn't over. Now, there are about 12 of us left and we go to Karaoke on the first floor of the same building. Taka and Naoko are still with us. I would think they'd want to of left by now but they are having as much fun as everyone else. We do a lot of spirited Karaoke (lots of people jumping around and dancing while others sing) until about 1:30 am. We all get separate taxis for the way home since the train was long past over.
I slept until 11 the next morning and then again from 3-5 in the afternoon, did nothing productive all day and still fell asleep very quickly that night at my regular time for work the next day (which was Monday). I won't be able to attend another wedding here for a long, long time.
